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Risk vs. Reward
}} Haley and her inner-selves grapple with the meaning of Nale's overtures. Cast * Haley Starshine (also as:) ◀ ▶ ** Haley's Self-Loathing ◀ ▶ ** Haley's Self-Reliance ◀ ** Haley's Optimism ◀ ** Haley's Anger ◀ ** Haley's Intellect ◀ ** Haley's Mistrust ◀ ** Haley's Vanity ◀ ** Haley's Latent Bisexuality Transcript all voices occur in Haley's head, except where noted in the transcript. Self-Loathing: OK, everyone, breathe deeply. Self-Loathing: Actually, only Haley needs to breathe deeply, the rest of us are imaginary. Self-Loathing: We have a major crisis on our hands here. Vanity: I know! I'm not even sure we'll fit into that dress! much less find shoes in time!! Self-Loathing: What? No, Haley's Vanity, that's not what I'm talking about. Vanity: Oh, sorry. You're worried about how we'll do our hair, then. Self-Loathing: Look, men that we've been pining over for the better part of a year do not spontaneously decide to just sweep us off our feet with flowers and new dresses. Self-Loathing: That doesn't happen to girls like us. Self-Reliance: Oh, I see what's going on here. Self-Reliance: Self-Loathing here just doesn't want us to be happy, so she's trying to sabotage the whole thing. Self-Loathing: Listen, Peroxide, I'm the only one here who cares enough about Haley to tell her the whole unvarnished truth. Self-Loathing: And I say something is wrong. Self-Loathing: Am I the ONLY one who noticed that Elan wasn't acting very Elan-like? Self-Loathing: He was suave and romantic and didn't forget what he was saying in the middle. Self-Loathing: Plus, I think he checked out our rack at one point. Optimism: Well... Maybe his feelings for us spurred him to new heights of confidence. Self-Loathing: Oh, yeah, maybe. Or maybe he's a Pod Person from the Fifth Dimension. Optimism: That's insane. Self-Loathing: Insane, right. Because we're NOT talking about a girl whose mind is slowly fracturing into a thousand pieces under the strain of not having anyone to listen to her. Self-Loathing: What about that dress? Black, strapless, with laces up the front and back? Who wears stuff like that? Vanity: You do. Self-Loathing: Yeah—but I'm a teenager! You can't take my fashion choices seriously! Latent Bisexuality: I think the dress looks hot... Self-Loathing: No one asked you, Haley's Latent Bisexuality. Latent Bisexuality: Fine. I'll just go back to hiding in the corner. Self-Loathing: I'm telling you, this whole thing is fishy! Back me up, Haley's Mistrust. Mistrust: Why should I? What's your angle?? Self-Loathing: *sigh* Never mind. Intellect: Actually, Elan's vocabulary and syntax were significantly above those of his usual speech patterns. Self-Loathing: Thank you, Haley's Intellect, that's what I'm talking about. Intellect: However, it is possible that he raised his Intelligence score the last time he gained a level. Self-Loathing: What? Ugh, you're grasping at straws now! Think, people, THINK! Haley (aloud): No. Self-Loathing: Did—did you just say "no" to thinking?? Haley: Yeah. I think too much. Haley: All of my life, I've been suspicious and distrustful. Haley: What do I have to show for it? Self-Loathing: Uh... you're still alive? Haley: I'm not sure I'd call this living. Haley: Elan managed to get through his life without second-guessing everything, and he's happy. He took a chance coming here and telling me how he felt— Haley: —something I was freaking out about long before I lost my voice. Haley: All I know is that if I don't go, I'll probably spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Haley: I can't do that. I'll go crazy. Haley: Craz'ier', whatever. Haley: You could be right. There could be something wrong with him. Haley: Maybe he's a doppelganger who wants to devour my frontal lobe or something. Haley: Or maybe—just maybe—everything is exactly as it seems and this is my one and only opportunity to be truly happy. Haley: I think that's worth the risk. Haley: I think that may be worth ANY risk. Haley's Self-Loathing is silent. Self-Loathing: Yeah, well... Self-Loathing: Don't come crying to me when your brain gets eaten! Intellect: Technically, since we are solely mental constructs, we would cease to exist. Mistrust: I don't buy it. Vanity: Would that mess up our hair? Self-Reliance: Wait, if we didn't have a brain, how could we— Self-Loathing: Gods, I hate you all. Trivia * Pod People are a fictional alien species which feature as the antagonists of the 1955 Jack Finney novel Invasion of the Body Snatchers, as well as the classic 1956 film of the same name. * There are four dimensions known to exist (3 spatial dimensions, plus time), though some physical models postulate more. A hypothetical "5th Dimension" has been used in some science fiction and fantasy as home to strange beings, for example Mister Mxyzptlk from the DC comics universe. * This is the final appearance of Haley's Optimism, Haley's Self-Reliance, Haley's Anger, Haley's Intellect, Haley's Mistrust, and Haley's Vanity. The former two first appeared in #319. The latter five first appeared in the comic previous to this one. * This is the only appearance of Haley's Latent Bisexuality, though not the last innuendo to be made in that direction. * It is in this moment that the Oracle's prophesy for Haley comes true, though she would only realize it much later. External Links * 382}} View the comic * 28329}} View the discussion thread Category:Dashing Swordsman Elan Rescues Haley